First of all, I had another scan on July 3 and doctors visit to talk about taking a medical vacation. Well, I found out that my tumor has shrunk! But, I am still on my meds. No vacay :( I was disappointed but at least I know the meds are working. At least I know I'm not going through hell for nothing.
Betsy and I at Malibu Beach |
Betsy and I at Santa Monica Beach |
Luis and I moved. It has been a very stressful time, hunting for a place, packing, unpacking, and cleaning! But we love the new place! It's so much closer to my work, his school, the hospital, and everything we do! It's a much nicer and safer area, too! I will miss sitting in my chair and staring at my pink and orange walls, though! It's a very exciting time because the new apartment is our first place together. Yes, we lived together at the old apartment, but it was originally mine first. But I am ready to see where this new chapter takes us.
I've been going back and forth if I should post this or not. But, when I was diagnosed I said I was going to start this blog to keep everyone informed. I feel like I need to include it. I have tried many different things for pain, some have worked and some haven't. But I was talking with my pain management doctor and he recommended trying medical marijuana. Since I live in the state of California, it is legal here. Honestly, I have never ever tried it before I got my card. He recommended eating it, not smoking it, which was a huge relief to me because I didn't want to smoke it. Seriously, I wish I tried it sooner because I have not taken a pain pill since I got my card. June 25 was my last pain pill. Life feels so much clearer without the pain pills. With this, I eat a little bit, then about 30 minutes later I'm sleepy and fall asleep. I eat a little bit of a brownie, rice krispie treat, or a jolly rancher. It's amazing to me what all forms the medical marijuana comes in: brownies, trail mix, lemonade, honey, butter, cheetos, ketchup, etc. I feel like a whole new person. It works for the pain, nausea, and makes me sleep. I know it is a controversial subject, there are many people that don't approve of it, but it's working for me.
I've had a few people tell me that I seemed like I was feeling so much better, but it's just that I've been trying to be more positive. Or at least not posting things on instagram, Facebook, etc when i'm having a rough day. I have met someone from my hospital who has several different types of cancer and is still very positive. It makes me strive to be more positive because it amazes me how upbeat she is.
It's crazy to think that a year ago today I had my hysterectomy. I've been very emotional over it. It just sucks to think I went into surgery thinking that as soon as I healed I would be feeling 150x better. Buttttttt it's been the complete opposite. It makes me wonder, should I have really jumped into having the surgery? Was that the right decision? Was it the wrong decision? I just don't understand why I am still in sooo much pain when I don't even have any organs down there?? None of the doctors know, either. How has it already been a year? Doesn't seem possible. It's just crazy to think I've been dealing with this nonsense for this long now! Overall, though, I have gotten better about the subject of my surgery. I can usually make jokes and laugh about it now, but obviously I still have my days. I just can't believe it's been this long already.
T-minus 3 days until my block on Monday! Not soon enough!