So Fed Up...

I am so fed up.  I'm just over it all.  I try to stay positive, but I'm really struggling with that right now.  

Last week on Tuesday (1/14) I saw my gynecological oncologist for a check up from surgery.  I told him that I still have ripping pains and the pain in my lower pelvic.  I am really nervous that the endometriosis is coming back.  They said there was a very small chance that it could come back.  It wouldn't surprise me because that would be my luck that it would come back.  I haven't had good luck with anything else, so it wouldn't surprise me.  He told me that he wanted to keep an eye on it.  He scheduled me for another appointment in 3 months, after my next CT.  But he said if my pain got worse to call and get in sooner.

Well, never fails, 2 days later I get horrible pain.  I woke up Thursday (1/16) and couldn't believe how much pain I was in.  It was a different pain.  More like a stabbing pain.  It was on the left side right above my incision.  It was so bad that I couldn't bend down or stand up straight.  It was even so intense that I had to leave work early and went home and took pain pills.  I hate taking pain pills, I only take them if I'm in lots of pain.  I went into work late Friday and took it easy the whole weekend.  I felt really good on Sunday.  But then Monday (1/20) I was at work and all of a sudden at about 2 p.m., I got these horrible pains again.  Out of nowhere.  The only thing I could think of was because I was busy at work so I was walking around fast and bending down a lot.  

I ended up calling my doctor Monday afternoon because I knew that this wasn't normal.  I shouldn't be having pains this bad this far post-op.  It's been 23 weeks since my surgery.  Unfortunately, I never got a call back Monday.  So I tried again Tuesday morning.  The first person I talked to wanted me to go to the ETC (City of Hope's version of ER).  I told them I did not want to go there because when I went there before nothing was accomplished.  I wanted to see when I could see the doctor next.  His P.A. ended up calling me back and first she brought up me going to the ETC and I turned her down as well.  She went and talked to my doctor and they were able to get me in Tuesday night.  

Just my luck, just like every other problem I have had.  They do not know what is wrong with me.  They think it is something muscular/skeletal.  Everything about me has been puzzling to my doctors.  He said that if I had increased the tamoxifen, he would connect it with that.  But I have DECREASED the tamoxifen, so I should be feeling better by now.  

So I will be seeing another doctor to see if can get some answers.  Ughhhh so frustrating.  

Tillllll then, I'll just veg out and take my pain pills...