I am back at work full force now. My first 2 weeks were rough. I would go home from work so tired and my feet/legs hurt so bad. But, I'm getting back into a routine and not so tired when get off work.
I am taking 2 medicines for hot flashes now. I feel like such an old woman because now I have to keep track of my blood pressure, on top of everything else. I have to monitor it every morning and night now. I don't really feel like I've gotten any relief with the medicine, but will try to have some patience and wait and see.
Last Wednesday was a rough day. Out of no where, I got horrible horrible pains! It was so bad that I was crying. I even took a pain pill. I can't even tell you the last time I took a pain pill. The pain was so bad. It was all in my incision area. It felt like something was ripping.
The hot flashes have been HORRENDOUS the past few days! I'm so miserable! I just want the next month to fly by! I have my next CT scan and see the doctors December 19. I'm so ready to start chemo. I never in a million years would have thought I would ever say that. But once on chemo, I will be off of the Tamoxifen, which is the biggest culprit to my hot flashes. I just feel so worn out because I am not getting any sleep.
The past two days I have also lost a lot of hair. I'm getting to be very self conscious now. I'm just so frustrated with all of this. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and in pain. I'm just ready to be done! Unfortunately I know I have awhile before I am done, but just having a rough week.
Luis and I did "Walk for Hope". It was a 5k (walking) at my hospital, City of Hope. It was such a great time! It was a huge triumph for me, considering I had surgery just 11 weeks prior and couldn't even walk to the bathroom! It was to support all women's cancers. It was a very motivating and emotional day. I can't wait to do it again next year.
I'm trying to stay positive, but it's not easy. I'm really struggling right now. I can't be expected to always be positive. I am doing the best I can. Sorry I used todays blog post to vent a little.